HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle 's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle 's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Alice during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over! The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Alice kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

  
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

Jiggs McDonald, NHL Hall of Fame broadcaster speaking in Ontario, says......"I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built in Toronto.

 I think it should be the goal of every Canadian to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs.

Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose that two night clubs be opened next door to the mosque thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque.

We could  call one of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy," and the other a topless bar called "You Mecca Me Hot."

Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbecue pork restaurant, called “Iraq of Ribs."

Across the street there could be a lingerie store called “Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret," with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods.

Next door to the lingerie shop there would be room for an adult sex toy shop, "Koranal Knowledge," its name in flashing neon lights, and on the other side a liquor store called "Morehammered."

All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us, so their mosque issue would not be a problem for others." Yes we should promote tolerance, and you can do your part by passing this on. And if you are not laughing or smiling at this point;... It is either past your bedtime, or its midnight at the oasis and time to put your camel to bed!!!!

Religion vs. Atheism

Why if all natural things in our world has been researched, and there is absolutely no evidence of any supernatural intervention.

What then would motivate a person to accept the fact  that there is a Deity requiring his or her worship?

It should be straight forward but it is not!

Speaking from my experience.

The society where I was born into, has always led me to believe that there is a Christian God that loves me and will always protect me.

When you are exposed in such a way to religion, it is virtually impossible not to believe that there is a God who sees and knows all what you do, He knows your fears and He knows what makes you happy. He understands that you get frustrated but if you can endure you have earned the gift of patience. He knows your every thought.

God is, and you either follow his ways or you stray from it. 
                                  

You know that there is a battle for your soul and that evil comes from the devil and good from God. 

There is no question in your mind that one day you will be judged according to whatever you have done during your life time on earth. There will be punishment and there will be rewards that will last for eternity. This you know, the same way you know tomorrow the sun will rise, even though you have not seen it yet, it will happen.

You might even get “REBORN” praise sweet Jesus!!! 

                                                        

Now you take it to a completely new level. From a lost sinner who thought religion can save you, to a true child of God.
Jesus now becomes your friend and God, His blood protects you and you claim that right. For the first time you realize the importance of the fact that he gave his life so that you may  have everlasting life!                 

You will be baptized in water and the glory of the lord will come down on you in the form of the Holy Spirit and you speak in tongues! Now everything must happen in double time.

Jesus is on his way to gather his bride, time is few and money is something you should give in order to receive.

Anything that you could waste money on has its own demon, the more you squander the less they get.......

This is where the deaf hear and the dumb speak, where the lame shall walk and the blind shall see!! Hallelujah. God can unfortunately not replace lost limbs, but that don’t mater, it serves you right to go and lose it anyway, don’t you know that your body is the temple of God? 
Everything you do carries a “is it scriptural or not” tag.

You become a “Fool for Jesus” and the word must be spread that Jesus is coming and they need to repent, the world is lost we must work harder and give more.

And if the system can keep you at full throttle with prayer meetings and Bible study, outreaches and assemblies, this meeting and that gathering. And you don’t allow the devil to distract you.

Then the system has landed a diamond, your efforts will keep the system’s wheels turning and well oiled.

But if sanity prevails and you start to realize that the system is using you for someone to have his reward here on earth in the form of your money.

So if you are lucky enough to face reality and can overcome the guild that you bestow upon yourself, you may start to think could this all be just an illusion?

In my case I was telling a friend of the wonderful signs that I have witnessed God preformed healing the sick in church. He asked me a simple question, "Is that something that a good magician can replicate?" And I had to agree there was nothing that I saw that could also be just an illusion.

Now it would be very arrogant for anyone to say that there is no creation force out there, as nobody can give you evidence or absolute proof that something like a creator does not exist. 
There are still so much that we just don’t know!

But I can say with total confidence that the religions of planet earth, are stories made up and accepted in ignorance and used to manipulate the majority of mankind. 
My guess is rather than a six day creation story. It probably started like this:

In the beginning of man’s consciousness of his surroundings, he was unwise and uninformed, but his intellectual capacity has grown to the point of where he required things explained to him.

Most of us will never be satisfied with any event or phenomenon if it can’t be explained. We just need to know that someone knows.

So how do we deal with the things that we can’t explain? We blame it in the supernatural, be it a god, an ancestor the sun or the moon.

How terrifying it would have been to experience lightning for instance and no matter what, human kind just did not have the knowledge to explain it.

The sun arrives every morning on time and brings you warmth after a cold night, how easy will it be to say thank you to this object?

The most worshiped God has been created, the Sun!

The problem the spiritual leaders of today are facing is that information is spreading.

People communicate outside their groups and find that there are some interesting views out there.

Followers of specific doctrine are being exposed to other opinions and philosophies. 
The Religious institutions have to keep on adapting their doctrine to fit in with the times.

                                                                                                 

There will always be someone that just has to believe that there is a God that loves him.   That there are forces out there, good and evil. 

Man need to blame his own mistakes on the devil and have a god that can forgive him. He needs to know that death is not the end!!!!!

And for that, he will do irrational acts of worship and sacrifice to a god.

He also needs a sense of belonging so he will do this thing with an acceptable group. This group will have a leader who will, for a fee, be too happy grant you the opportunity to have all of this.

Religion will mostly become a passive business as education levels pick up at global level.

Like any business you will find something for everyone. Some religious institutions will be like corporations and others like franchises. You will even find the owner of a small one who will drive his business with a passion not seen in the bigger ones.  Lots of money will be spend on advertising and the competition for the right to be the one who supplies your spiritual needs will be high.

At the same time, if you start questioning your believe, it is a lot easier in these times to get answers without the bullshit. You will come into contact with other people who had enough of the lies and deceit.

              

You will also find that it does not matter what your religious believe are.
If you are an idiot you are an idiot.
                                                                                                                     

You will find idiots all over, so do not get confused. Someone may have the same point of view about a topic as you but, this does not mean that he should now be your friend.

But you will also find people who don’t have to believe in hell or a promise of heaven to know the difference between good and bad. You will find people with integrity and responsibility who you would like to have as a friend or even as a peer, who do not believe in God.                                                                                                                                         

You will experience that life becomes worth living when you are not doing it as a test, to have a better one after you have died. This life is it, only one.

Your abilities and talents comes from good genes, a healthy childhood and hard work, not because for some reason god has bestowed it on you, thank your parents and yourself.

Taking responsibility for your own actions and motives instead of blaming it on the forces of evil, really makes you reflect more on who and what you are, this helps you to develop yourself into the person that you would like to be.

Understanding that we as a species has evolved in a very short time from a primitive being to a modern people.                     

That we still have some of the primitive being’s basic instincts required for his survival as a wild animal. 
This should explain a number of our silly habits that we cant explain with logic.                                                                                      

Understand that being godless is not an automatic indication of being evil. I'm not saying that all godless are not evil, man has a cunning ability to deceive.
But what I do say is that all people involved in religion, are deceived or they are deceiving, every thing in religion can be placed into these two categories.
Take time to consider what you worship, and remember that it requires effort from you to believe in yourself.

My Motto: Believe nothing you hear and only half of what you see!                               

That should protect you from about half the bullshit out there, but be prepared because somewhere, somehow someone will still take you for a ride!

Amazing study proving the possible existence of what appears to be evidence that there might be a creator!

This Study was conducted on Sunday morning between 7 and 9 by a panel off one enthusiastic researcher, self trained in the use of the infallible technique of the eliminating evidence in the software package of Google.

The idea started forming at first light, our researcher was in the process of answering to a call from nature, actually it was more like a shout from nature as he nearly shat his pants shortly before.

As he tried to reconstruct what happened last night after 7:45pm he realized that the last thing he could remember was that his son had to take over the process of turning the meat on the barbeque at  Fred’s place. 
Now he knows there were several girls at the barbeque that somehow had the power to turn his wife into an old television set for a few days, you can see the picture but no sound. Funny how you are not allowed to mention that tits seem to look better on other chicks.

Well this got him thinking.

He understands that:

1.       He loves his barbecue, or as he would lovingly call it  “BRAAI”

2.       His wife hates it.

3.       He will get pissed at any braai, even if the neighbours are having a braai. (Who have stopped inviting him to theirs and refuse to come to his) The wonderful aroma of a wood fire and the smell of Ohh that wonderful meat that cannot be savoured without beer.

4.  He will have done things that cannot be undone, things that he will not be aware of until his loving wife points them out(In detail only required in a episode of CSI) to him the next morning, and will pop up in conversations years later, things that he is not proud of at home or at church, but somehow it seem pretty funny at the next braai. 

Now as our main man seated on the white throne, contemplates what he would have to sacrifice in order to bring back the favor of the one person he fears more than anything in this world, while he is sober  “The wife”

 He realize that last month at the wedding of  Ben’s firstborn the pastor was talking about how the Israelites had to put a goat or a sheep on the fire for God! FUCK God loves a BBQ, Yes man!

Why has he never realized this before, he himself has been created in the image of God and that proves what he does at a braai must be how God created him and it must be good!

The revelation of God enjoying a few beers in heaven and Moses his son turning the meat starts to form a picture in our hero’s head. 
He can see it clearly now, how the creativity starts to flow in heaven, and the things that are done now cannot be undone.

To prove this theory here is the comprehensive study conducted Sunday morning while the kids were still asleep.

Our main man know that God has created man depended on water, he feels it now, shit he is thirsty.

So when God was sober He made sure that his creation had enough water, in fact 70% of the earth is covered in water.

Then one night as Moses was turning the meat and the Israelites were singing a nice sing-along.

I’m sure this one was not on purpose, but you know, after a six pack or two you my drop something that you did not intend to drop?

Then you say something like Oh clumsy me, there I dropped the salt in the ocean, Hehehehe   Ah fuck, hic deal with it my lovelies hehehehe.

   

And so to prove my theory beyond the shadow of my Doubt, here is some graphical evidence of God’s sober and drunk creations!

SOBER

DRUNK

SOBER

DRUNK, WEED, PILLS?

SOBER

DRUNK

Now I would like to challenge any one to bring me better proof of a God created in the image of man!

No animal or any other things were hurt by this study except my head, but as the headache was present before the study was conducted I don’t think it counts.

Disclaimer:

If I pissed off any other scientist or gods with this brilliant layout of true facts, I apologize as it was not intentionally done to piss you off, it was more done so that I can share the revelation of creation with you.

Cheers from God and Me.

Now I will not face the Wife alone!